Friday, March 21, 2014
The reality that I'm having relatively major knee surgery in less than 2 weeks hit me today- all it took was a lovely packet of instructions from my surgeon's office and the panic attack ensued. Since I left Denver and am now back home, everything has hit me in stages, and today was one of them. It's here, it's real and there's no turning back now (well, I thought about it, until my dad about read me the riot act). While I'm excited for my new gadget and about 8 different kinds of painkillers/nerve blocks, all my memories from past surgeries are coming back and I am very scared. Not only is this the hardest surgery of my three, but I'm actually being opened up, as opposed to it being done arthroscopically, which adds an extra dimension of possible problems. While in my heart I know everything will be fine, it is very hard to mentally prepare yourself for walking into the operating room, only to be wheeled out a short time later unable to take care of yourself. In the meantime, I plan on enjoying the next 12 days- lots of squats, bending my knee whenever I feel like, walking- all the things I'll be missing terribly the next few months.